because I'm cute

I woke up this morning next to the cutest guy ever.

I'm at home in Little Rock. I came to visit my parents, and my sister and her children are here- Noah (10), William (6) and Cecilia (1/2). Last night William slept with me, and Noah slept with Adam. The night before, Noah had slept with me, and Will had slept with Adam. Adam came the room this morning as William and I were waking up, and he said- you guys switched places last night. I said, "Yeah, they're all just fighting to sleep with me. Isn't that right Will?" Will replied, looking up from the pillow and counting the reasons on his fingers, "Yeah, because she's pretty, and she's cute, and love you."

Sound like good reasons to want to sleep with someone.

Countdown until I will wake up next to Adam: 84 days.

I knew it was coming

It's an interesting time in my life. I am getting married at the end of October, and that is good. But as all know, it doesn't solve everything.

This is my last week working with Impact, working with the program SpeakFirst.

This isn't like leaving most jobs, where I will miss the co-workers. My heart breaks knowing that I am not the one that will see them everyday at practice. Not the one that will hear about who they have a crush on, or the fight they saw at school. I will not be with them as they prepare to take the ACT and stress about which colleges to apply to. (however, there is a little relief that I will be able to spend a little time with Adam before 8 weeknights). So I'm sad.

It's also hard because I haven't found a job yet. I have looked, and "other things" have come up, but the truth is, I just haven't found anything that I'm just really excited about, that has worked out. It's times like these that just make you reconsider all those things like, "what do I think I deserve" or "am I really just being prideful in not considering other things" I praise God that he really does meet all my needs. It's just hard in the not-knowing times.

It's interesting because all my siblings are having work woes right now. My dad jokes that "he's done his work as a father" because all his kids have made it to retirement. And yet somehow he and my mom are still working. He thinks jokes like that are funny. It's just interesting that we are all, regardless of our paths in life- and we all three have taken very different paths in life- and our varying educations, scrambling for a job that we will enjoy and look forward to going to every day.

God, by your grace and mercy, I pray for the two new SpeakFirst coordinators. May they love, teach, and nurture the students. Grant them patience. May you bless Rebecca, Grant, Kevin, Heather, Adam and I with hard work that we fulfills us, and brings you blessing and glory. Give us all kingdom vision as we search out our new place in life.

it's time to kill the birds

After I read the book The Red Tent, there was a period when I wanted a part of the old law to come back. I like the idea of being able to take "that time of month" off- to sit in a special tent with the other women and relax, rather than sucking it up and going on with life.

Sometimes in my mind I still live under the deuteronomic principals of life: "do well and blessings will come, stray and you will be cursed". No matter how much I try to sear the truth of grace and mercy in my heart, the law comes back.

But recently I have been really glad that we are not still living under the old law. This past week I would have been pronounced ceremonially unclean, for sure. Somehow, while mowing the lawn, I got a horrible rash- either from the grass or from poison ivy, covering most of my upper right arm. It started Saturday, and by Monday I just wanted to either cut off the arm, or drug myself up enough to sleep and not think about it.

I definitely would have been living outside the camp.

However, yesterday, in keeping with the law, would have been the seventh day, when the priest would have come back to re-examine me. I would proudly say....I am healed. I'm pretty sure that Aaron wasn't giving out steroids back then, but thank goodness Dr. Real is.

So now, you can bring forth the pigeon, kill it, sprinkle my house with it's blood and set it's pair free into the field. I will follow custom and shave my head, take a bath, come back inside the gate, but sleep outside the tent until next week. Next week I will bring a couple of lambs with some flour and oil, and we will slaughter the lamb, and put a little blood on my ear and foot, and then....finally...

I would sleep in my own bed again. Clean.

Tonight, however, instead of sleeping outside, looking for my lamb, I'm inside a cool house, being licked by a dog. Truly we have been set free from the law.