What is the gospel?

Sometimes I feel like I've been out of the word so much I don't really have the authority to speak about it, but I've been thinking a lot about certain things lately and I want to be honest about those thoughts.... to all you random people who read my blog- whoever you are (how interesting that I'm willing to be so honest to a group of potential unknowns, eh?)

I went to church on Sunday, another Sunday, another church. Since moving I haven't really found a place that I want to associate with. Sunday I actually was really digging some of it, and then the pastor started in on Joshua and then he stopped mid-sentence and said that he felt he needed to speak about something else. He said that he felt that there were people that had been going there for their whole life and yet they didn't know the gospel. He said that one of the problems in many churches today is that we spend too much time talking about the Pauline letters and what others say about Jesus, rather than looking at Jesus. So now I'm really getting pumped, and wondering what this guy is going to say about Jesus.

So he starts in 1 Cor, then goes to Gen and talks about the fall, then spends most of his time in Cor and Romans. He talked about how "at our core we suck" and we cannot ever "do enough" to deserve Jesus. I agree. He talked about sin, redemption, and grace. I agree.

BUT.

I was really just kinda disappointed.

I felt like he just did what he said was wrong with Churches. He sat there and talked about the Gospel through Gen, the letters to the Corinthian churches (written by paul) and the letter written to the Romans (written by Paul).

He said that the gospel was sin, redpemption and grace.... which I believe is a part of it, but I have been thinking a lot about Jesus.

What would Jesus say the Gospel message is?

If I asked him, what would he say? I thought that someone kinda did. And this is what he said, "love God, Love others as much as you love yourself".

You may not ever achieve it, but as much as you are able, continue to bring the kingdom of God to this earth. A kingdom of Justice.

And then, other times he talks about who these neighbors are. They are not the people that look just like us, or have the same amount of money as us. And yet our churches are these cities of people who all look alike, patting themselves on the back for their own greatness. How is that Just? How is that the kingdom?

At the end, the one reference to the actual written gospels was about the man selling everything that he has for the field with the treasure in it. So I prayed that I would sell everything that I have for the gospel. That I really would, but that God would show me what the Gospel really is. The truth. What that means. I want to sell out to it, but I wonder if so many of us have gotten it wrong.

I had a good talk last night with a friend. A friend who does not "go to church" but is a Christian. He is doing more good for the kingdom than most of the bodies warming the church pews. Yet he refuses to enter and commune with these "bodies of Christ" because he doesn't think that they represent the gospel.

So what is the gospel?

If you ever want to be freaked out about having a family

...go to Target.. supertarget, at that... on a Sunday afternoon. I think that today was actually undeclaired family day. I swear I saw more mothers, fathers, sisters, brothers, kids, babies... than at a carnival. An since they were all shopping for more stuff.. as we all were... the mothers were usually annoyed, and the fathers were cognitively absent. So the kid is screaming, and another is hitting his sister, and the mom is trying to figure out which shower curtain to buy, and the dad is looking around wondering when it's all going to be over.

And then people acutally have the nerve to ask me things like, "Why are you scared of commitment, Kara?" HELLO- is this what commitment brings? Screaming kids and a husband who can't wait for it all to be over? I'm sorry if that freaks me out a little. I love the part in Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind where he asks, "have we become the dining dead?" and in his mind he can predict everything that she is going to say. I wonder when life becomes like that- predicable.

Lately I've been longing for stability, but I think that I'm scared of the predicability that inevitably comes with stability. I don't want to become the dining dead.

America: the Christian Nation?

I posted the picture of Amy and I, planning to post a blog along with it, but the thoughts are still swirling and in draft form, so more on that later

Lately I have been thinking about something else. I am working for a pretty amazing guy, Stephen Black. He doesn't believe in charity, but does believe in social justice. He graduated from Yale, but came back to Alabama because he really believes that things here can change. That even though the school system is crap, there are teenagers that deserve a chance. Even though there are children that can't read because their eyesight sucks, he can raise money to test their vision on his own. Most of all, he believes that even though there are some that are born with more and some with less, all deserve equal chances.

We live in a country of extremes. When I first came back from China it was almost overwhelming. Everywhere I looked there was excess: money, food, cars, clothes, more, more, more. And yet in the midst of the wealth, there is poverty. How can we live in a country where people literally have billions of dollars, and some eat out of garbage cans? The icing on the cake is that we are a "Christian Nation". We go on holy missions to make sure that people in other lands have "freedom" and lable it a moral imperitave, and yet somehow a starving child, a child who cannot afford to go to college, an old woman that cuts her pills three times to make them 'last longer' is not a moral imperative.

There is a really powerful article that speaks to this "Chrisitan Paradox". In the article the author takes several tenets of basic Christianity, and asks, "How's America doing?" and then answers it.

My question to you is, how do you think America is doing?

Instead of God Bless America, should it really be God Forgive America?

Amy and I at her wedding 

Finding myself

I called Shaliah today to tell her that I'm not going to be coming to Auburn this weekend. She said, "Oh, I guess you need to find yourself."
"Yes, if Kara's around, I'll have her call you."
"Maybe she's wondering the streets with me."
"Yea, maybe they are walking the streets togehter."

So this weekend I guess I'm going to stay here in B'ham. My first official weekend. So far I have learned my way to many of the major highways, malls, and work. All I really need to know, right? And I found a grocery store. Yeah me. I have eaten Thai food, Greek food, and peanut butter sandwiches. I have NOT eaten chicken fingers, or BBQ. I really am so glad I have left Auburn sometimes.

I am still really living out of boxes, though. I sleep on an air matress that has a hole in it, and every night I re-fill the matress with air, only to find my butt on the ground when I wake. Most of my dishes and clothes are still housed in cardboard, and getting ready in the morning means shuffling through piles trying to remember what is clean, and what is dirty. I guess basically I'm living like a batchelor...

My office is much like a closet that no one wanted. As I sit here now, the inventory consists of a filing cabinent, a table, a desk, two computers, a shelf and about about 9 suitcases to haul around eye care equipment in. Sounds classy, eh?

I know that I'm rambling, and if you are still reading at this point, I say "Kudos to you" Because I probably wouldn't be anymore. I think I would have stopped when I started describing my office.

I am really happy right now, though. Some might say that I'm still in the "honeymoon" stage my the move and the job, and I will accept that, it's probably true. It's weird, you know, moving from having my life packed with constantly working on things, to this job where I'm not totally sure what to do, and going home to an empty apartment with free nights, again, not really sure what to do with my free time. I still haven't really found a good place to run, because it's so freakin hilly.

Well that's an update on my life. Not as exciting as other entries, but at least you know. If you have any advise on adapting, good recipies, or exciting things to do in BIRMINGHAM, then let me know!