Holy Saturday

I was re-reading some of my older posts and stumbled upon this one. I wish that I still had words like this to say, but instead I'll just re-post old words and hope they resonate. Ideas of rejection and redemption.. I think that's fitting for a Saturday stuck between the death and the rising.

Rejection and Redemption

In Donald Miller's book "Searching for God Knows What" he espouses several theories attempting to explain this human behavior that we do. One is related to the memory that he has as a child of seeing a circus act and the circus people all sitting around talking to each other. He talks about how, even in the circus-- a cult of freaks and weirdos-- there is a hierarchy, some acts that are seen as more valuable than others. Even among the rejected, there is a sense of order about who is better than another. At one point he says, "One writer said that what we commonly think of as love is really the desire to be loved. I know this is true for me, and it has been true for years, that often when I want somebody to like me, I am really wanting them to say that I am redeemed, that I am not a loser, that I can stay in the circus, that my act redeems me."
I have been thinking about this rejection idea a lot in my life not only here lately, but off and on for the past year. It absolutely astonishes me how much it hurts, and how damaging it can be to my future-- making me do these weird things and behave in bizarre ways-- all because I have once been told either in word or deed, "I don't want you."

Even now, as I write those words, they burn my eyes to read them.

There are times when people can reject us without intentionally meaning to hurt, even. Isn't rejection inherent in choice? When someone is choosing a best friend, a mate, the captain of the quiz bowl team, who to give the secret password to, isn't the value in that choice (if you are the one chosen) that you were selected, above others? Everyone can't be chosen. Some get told, "I don't want you".

But it wasn't until the other night that I was sitting in the dark trying to sleep, that I think I caught a new glimpse of this idea of redemption- in the light of rejection. Somehow in God's game everyone gets chosen. No one is rejected. No one is told, "I don't want you." All get redeemed- and redeemed with something of great worth, according to 1 Peter. Redeemed by something that is incorruptible- the blood. Through the rejection of Jesus we are accepted.

In Psalm 3 David says that the Lord is a Shield protecting him, His glory, and the lifter of his head. Now I don't understand the glory part- as much as I've studied it and tried and tried to understand. I partially understand the shield part- that the Lord protects us, even though this does not mean that danger does not come our way, or that we will always be spared from pain, but the lifter of the head- this part is really cool. Back in David's time beggars would sit outside the gate and beg from the people as they entered the city. But if someone came over to them, and lifted their head, it was symbolic that that person would take care of them for the rest of their life- they would no longer have to beg. Here David is saying, "You, God, have pulled me from my status as a beggar, and have promised to take care of me. You are my glory, you protect me, and you provide for me." In essence, "You have told me that I have worth."

In Ez. 16 there is also one of the craziest allegories of the Bible (in my humble opinion). God tells Israel that they are like a baby who has been thrown into the field and is wallowing in its own blood, because no one wanted it. Through the story God fulfills many different roles in this child's life- provider, comforter, and eventually husband. God finds the discarded child in a field and tells her that she has worth.

How interesting it is that the cuts of rejection are often some of the deepest, and yet the threads of redemption are what hold together the gospel message.