new blog

I hope this isn't too much of a shock to anyone, but I'm engaged. So there it is. I hate for this to be my mode of communication, but it is what it is. SO now, read on.

I... (uh hem). . . we.... have a new blog. No, not the royal we- though I do speak in the royal "we" sometimes... only when appropriate...which is a lot- but we as in Adam and I. Not much there, but thought those who dig Adam.... and think I'm alright, might want to check it out. We will be posting there about our "relationship" so that people who visit here don't have to fear running for the nearest trash can :) (or rubbish bin if you are English)

THE NEWBYS TO BE.

I know it's cheesy, but a lot of couples get them on places like Theknot.com- which is a wedding website...and if I may step up on a soapbox for a minute, I just want to declare that my wedding is neither the culmination nor the declaration of my life. I have had a life for a while. This is not the day my life begins, nor the day I become a woman. Life will continue after this. We will then change the name of the blog. So I wanted a blog that we could have, even after we have declared our undying love, kissed in public, and drank a little wine with our friends and family.

bling bling

I hate money.

There is a burning in my heart...maybe it's in my stomach...or my lungs...or my brain....that starts to hurt when I think about money.

Nothing has ever made me cry as much as money.

Nothing has ever stressed me out as much as money.

Nothing has threatened to damage, hurt or destroy every realtionship that I have at some point....like money.

and yet.

We need money to have a house.

We need money to eat.

We need money to talk on the phone to our loved ones.

What a paradox. How then, do I live in this paradox? Needing something that so often seeks to destroy me and seperate me from the ones that I love.

Making me dependant on the myself.

Making me depend on my money.

Seperating me from the God I love.

Living vs. Watching

"life is a B-movie, it's stupid and it's strange, it's a directionless story, and the dialogue is lame, but in the he-said, she-said, sometimes there's some poetry if you turn your back and let it happen naturally."
-Ani DiFranco

Due to recent events I have come to realize that I need to read books and watch movies to leave reality. I DO NOT need to think that books and movies ARE reality.

There has been some poetry in my life lately, but sometimes I want the movie version.

I pray for fresh eyes. Eyes to see, Ears to hear and a mind to see afresh the reality I live in- without irrational expectations of those around me. With grace and thankfulness for what I am given.