This is what Jesus looks like, in case any of you are wondering. (that is me standing in front of him- don't get confused).
There is a Nichole Nordeman song that says something like, "and I know you could leave writing on the wall that's just for me, or send wisdom in a vision, like in Solomon's Sweet dreams, but tonight I don't need a fiery pillar in the sky. Just want to know you're gonna hold me when I start to cry. Oh great God, be small enough to hear me."
I sometimes vacillate between these two ideas- the bigness and the "smallness" or God- that Smallness being not weakness, but an intimacy that is only gained from God choosing to lower himself to my level. Like a giant basketball player talking to a two year old, I imagine him crouching down to show me something. But lately I have been wondering if it's really possible for him to be small enough to hear me these days. I wonder if, like that statue, he's too big to even look at. Certainly too big to wrap my arms around and hold me in his arms.
7 comments:
So where did this epiphany of the giant white Jesus occur? (Just in case I need a pilgrimage).
that is like the giant jesus in the movie saved where the pregant girl looks up and says "shit, fuck, god damn". I love that scene, and I hate giant jesus statues.
nice post. I have so much trouble really believing that god cares about me, and then at the same time I have this sense that jesus is contstantly after me. it's weird. but mostly I operate in a state of believing that god doesn't care about me.
betsy, nice hymn. I like hymns.
dang it. . . i didn't know jesus had white hair?
Jesus is very white and very tall. Who knew?
In times like this it helps me to read all of Psalm 118
that is one of my favorite songs in the whole wide world. my three best friends and i sang it in a talent show in high school and got 2nd place.
"but tonight my heart is heavy and i cannot keep from whispering this prayer: are you there?" great song. i totally understand what you're feeling. there have been many times that i've felt so very very small that even God wanted nothing to do with me. that tends to be the time he pursues me the most, thankfully or no telling where i'd be now. i think Jesus making himself small for us looks kind of like a sermon steve once preached on loneliness. he said ultimate loneliness is being in a place (emotionally, physically, spritually) where you feel no one else can meet you, and you really just want someone to crawl inside with you. i think those are the "small times" for Jesus, when he crawls inside that awful place with us.
i don't know if that made any sense, i didn't get a lot of sleep last night. where was that picture taken btw?
and THIS post is how I found you first when I googled myself :o) I LOVE NICHOLE NORDEMAN. And this is one of my most favorite songs by her... they used it as the "Hannah" song throughout our Easter program this year and it worked so well...
I find I can often find one of her songs that I can relate to regardless of what I'm going through at the moment. And I generally fixate on that song for awhile ;o) I've had "Gratitude" from the Woven and Spun album on repeat this week... the idea of asking for seemingly small "needs" really being the desire for "wants" and being thankful in ALL situations... That's what I'm not lining up with right now...
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